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An Attempt at Organization

September 30, 2011

I’m only 20 but, like, I’ve seen a lot hermano. I mean, just the other day I was down near Wall Street and this cop was totally rude to me! Here are things that I have learned in my very experienced life:

  1. OKCupid is Neopets. OKCupid is filled with the same people who played Neopets in the 4th/5th grades. Except instead of meeting fairies and going on missions OKCupid is about boinking fairies and adventures on the G train looking for hallucinogens.
  2. Hipster guys will always go down on you. If you are a young lady in Williamsburg/Bushwick I advise that you don’t wear shorts, a skirt, or anything that allows easy access because you’ll be alone watching Bronson and suddenly there will be a knit cap between your legs.
  3. You should always drink seasonal beers.

    Always pose with seasonal beers on photobooth

  4. I am writing this blog post at 1:30 AM. I am currently wearing one shoe.
  5. Never start playing a Zynga game because you can’t fall asleep because they might have already taken $2 from me. WE ARE THE 99%
  6. I know that you think those thigh high boots are really cool but you look ridiculous walking next to the cabbage shipment that comes each morning to the warehouse next door to you. I mean seriously, you are living in a warehouse in Bushwick and think that it’s acceptable to spend over $100 on boots?
  7. You should definitely buy that fur coat though.
  8. Not once, but twice I have been told that despite my possible clinical insanity a boy has wanted to make out with me “a little bit” (twice! you young men are all the same). Let us end this cult of the strange and the quirky. xoxo, MR. F
  9. I don’t know how to write.
3 Comments leave one →
  1. September 30, 2011 1:56 am

    Thinking Bulletin, Memory Archive, Mind Record, Brain Synopsis, Thoughtful Gazette, etc

    • September 30, 2011 2:00 am

      the internet is like a catalog…a catalog of thoughts.

  2. September 30, 2011 1:57 am

    The names of my future “Lit Online Magazine”

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